Selfies In A Scarf With Starbucks At A Stop Sign.
It all starts with an S. Perfect Selfie Storm.
What else do you want from me?
Selfies With A Standalone Surf Thing.
It’s Summer Time in Phoenix…It’s 110+ degrees fehrenheit most days…Let’s put a big rubber and plastic thing filled with water in the middle of Downtown Phoenix. That won’t add any element of humidity. At all.
I know what you’re thinking, “Ok, but you’re wearing a scarf…”
Yeah. I know. I’m an idiot, too.
Selfies With A Sticker Of A Stack Of Books.
There’s a lady that sits in this office and she always has a basket filled with granola bars that I like to visit. (Yes, I visit granola bars. Occasionally consume…)
Much to my dismay, the door was locked. And she was out of the office ALL WEEK. She never cleared this with me. She could have, at least, left some granola bars on my desk.
How dare she.
Selfies While Silently Willing The Cleaning
Ladies to Finish Cleaning The Bathroom.
(And other tragedies.)
These cleaning ladies at work…I tell ya. I think, somehow, they are keeping track of my bathroom tendencies. Because they ALWAYS know when I have to go. Always. It’s astonishing.
And they pick the WORST times, too. It’s usually in the morning, like right when everyone gets in. And around lunch time.
Those are the primetime bathroom time slots.
What I’m saying is we need Nielsen Monitors for Bathrooms so that the Cleaning People can work around my bathroom requirements.
Selfies While Shopping With My Sister.
I rarely get to spend some QT with my sister. (Damn you, Adulthood!!)
But it was a rare occasion that she and I got to spend some time together and do our least favorite thing — Shopping. At the mall.
*Queue the Funeral March (Instrumental)*
(Side Note: Why did I feel it necessary to clarify that it be the instrumental version? Is there a non-instrumental version of that song? Probably not. Should there be? Absolutely. Get on it, music people.)
Anyway. My sister wasn’t ready for this. And neither were you.
The whole week that I was sitting at the other office location — I had to deal with my petty frustrations of someone sitting in the most perfect desk ever.
Seriously. It was perfect.
It was squirreled off in the back. There was NO excuse for anyone to go back there. It was beautiful.
(I’m getting a little choked up just thinking about it. I’M FEELING VERKLEMPT.)
So, naturally, I decided that I would partake in some light pranking.
I barely remember his name — but I felt like we were close enough that I could do this stuff and pass it off like, “C’mon! We’re buds!” and, it would also free me of all blame. Because he doesn’t know me, I don’t know him — Why would I do such a thing?
(I would. Aggravation is always the name of the game. Always.)
The last imparting thing I wanted to do was sit in his chair.
Because then something would feel different.
For one last time.
I miss you, temporary desk.
Selfies With Souvenirs From Coworkers.
I am the youngest one in the office, by a considerable amount. Like…we’re talking that some of their kids are older than I am.
One of my coworkers just got back from vacation and said she bought me, and this other lady a souvenir.
It’s a very nice gesture, and I like it. Of course. I would never complain about a thoughtful gift.
I guess I will have to put my TicTacs in there.